No Regrets
​
- 5 -
​
​
The Kid was out in the North Pasture checking the perimeter fences when he heard a distant rumbling.
He squinted up at the sky, at first thinking it was thunder, but the sky was a cloudless blue.
Must be something up at the mine, he thought to himself as he dismounted to examine a damaged piece of fencing. The mine! He stopped in his tracks at the sudden realization of what the rumbling sound signified, and that that was where Lom had told him Heyes was going today.
“Oh, no!” he gasped, a knot of apprehension forming in his stomach.
His conflict with Heyes forgotten, he mounted his horse and headed off towards the mine at a gallop. He tried to suppress his fears, telling himself that he was probably wrong, that the sound he’d heard wasn’t a cave in and that if Heyes had gone to the mine he had very likely left by now anyway.
His hopes were dashed when he arrived at the mine, as a scene of chaos greeted him. Dust still hung heavy in the air. People were running about in confusion, while others sat, or lay on the ground, many bleeding from wounds inflicted during their escape, being tended to by their colleagues. A bunch of horses were tethered outside the main office, all of them dancing about, startled by the noise and confusion and pulling at their tethers in order to run away.
Dismounting, the Kid anxiously scanned the milling crowd for a sign of Heyes, but could see none.
He went amongst them, looking for someone he recognized. Presently, he saw Henry Winters, one of the miners who he and Heyes knew from the saloon.
“Henry.” The Kid called, hurrying over to him.
“Oh, Thaddeus.” Henry turned to see who had called him.
“Cave in?” the Kid asked.
Henry nodded, his gaze fixed on the entrance to the mine as he waited to see if any more of his colleagues would emerge from below ground.
“Have you seen Joshua anywhere?” the Kid asked anxiously.
“Joshua?” Henry frowned, “Ah, yes, Bill said something about getting him to come out and look the place over. Did he come today?”
“I was told so.” the Kid nodded.
“No. I haven’t seen him.” said Henry.
The Kid continued his search, finally spotting Bill Jenkins, the Site Manager, sitting on a rock while another man treated two cuts on his cheek. His face and clothes were blackened with dust, and his hair full of dust and debris.
The Kid hurried over to him.
“Bill. Are you O.K?”
Bill looked up at him. “Thaddeus! Yeah, I’m O.K.”
“Was Joshua with you?”
Bill nodded.
“Where is he? Did he get out?”
“I…” Bill looked dazed, “I don’t know… He was behind me…” His shoulders sagged, “I haven’t seen him.” he said, his expression anguished
The Kid began to feel sick. Leaving Bill, he continued his search, but there was no sign of Heyes, and the Kid had to acknowledge that he was one of those caught in the cave in.
The Foreman was beginning to get control of the situation now, checking off the names of those who had escaped before allowing those with minor injuries to go home and organizing for the more seriously hurt to be transported into town to the doctor’s clinic.
The Kid approached him.
“What about those trapped inside?” he asked.
“Who are you?” the Foreman asked.
“Thaddeus Jones.”
“I don’t have you down here.” said the Foreman, checking his register.
“No, I don’t work here. I’m looking for my friend.” the Kid told him, “He was here with Bill Jenkins, checking the mine over.”
“Oh, yeah. I saw them looking around down there.” said the Foreman, “What’s your friend’s name?
“Joshua Smith.”
The Foreman wrote the name on the bottom of his list.
“You haven’t seen him come out?” asked the Kid.
“Not so far.” The Foreman shook his head.
“When are you going to search for them?”
“Not for a couple of hours at least.” replied the Foreman.
“But… more could be dead by then.” protested the Kid.
“And even more could die if we go in now.” the Foreman told him, “We wait for a couple of hours to let things settle. Then, if there’s no more cave-ins, we’ll send in a small search party.”
There was nothing the Kid could do except wait, and pray that there were no further cave-ins and that they would be able to find Heyes alive. The thought that he might be dead, with their disagreements unresolved, was unbearable.
After two hours, there had been no further noises from the mine, and the Foreman asked for volunteers to go in and search for survivors.
“Not me.” said one, “The whole place could cave in at any minute.”
“They’re probably all dead anyway.” said another.
“You don’t know that.” The Kid cut in, “If it was you trapped down there, wouldn’t you want someone to at least look?” He turned to the Foreman, “I’ll go.” he volunteered.
“I guess I will too.” said another man. He got to his feet and joined the Kid and the Foreman. Two others also joined them, but no-one else would, so the three miners, the Foreman, who’s name turned out to be Chuck, and the Kid set off, armed with shovels, rope and lamps.
* * *
In the mineshaft, Heyes opened his eyes, not knowing where he was or what had happened. It was almost pitch dark save for a dim glow a few feet from his head, and the air was thick with dust.
He moved slightly, gasping at a sharp pain in his shoulder. As he inhaled the dust he began coughing violently, which hurt his shoulder even more. He tried to roll over, but couldn’t.
He lay there for several minutes, still only semi-conscious. Presently, his senses cleared enough to remember the cave-in and to become aware of an agonizing pain spreading up his legs.
He lifted his head, and in the dim light, could see that he was buried, almost up to his hips, beneath a pile of earth and rocks that rose several feet high. Rocks were strewn all around and, two feet away, lay one large enough that it would surely have killed him had it hit him.
He twisted his head around to see where the light was coming from. A couple of yards away, one of the oil lamps, that had earlier been hanging from the roof, had survived the fall and was leaning at a 40 degree angle amongst the debris. Heyes reached out to try and right it and draw it nearer, but it was beyond his grasp.
He looked about him for a sign of any other people, but there wasn’t a living soul in sight. As he turned his head however, his eyes fell on a man’s forearm protruding from the pile of rubble a few yards to his right.
Heyes lay his head back down, trying to collect his thoughts, a thousand questions whizzing around in his head. Did the lifeless arm protruding from the rubble belong to Bill Jenkins? How many others were buried? How many had escaped? How many were dead? How far down the shaft had they come? Would anyone come to check for survivors, or would they assume everyone left inside was dead?
He considered the possibilities of trying to free himself by clawing the debris from around his legs with his hands, but realized that there was no chance of that. He had been pinned lying half on his side, facing the ground, and was therefore unable to sit up fully or reach round far enough, and even if he had been able to, the pile of debris was much too big for him to free himself just by digging with his hands.
He lay back down with a groan. There was nothing to be done except wait, and hope that someone would come.
As the rubble settled, the pain in his legs became excruciating, and as the damp from the earth seeped through his clothes and into his bones he began to shiver with cold, unable, pinned as he was, to move around and warm himself up. His head and shoulder also ached, and he was consumed with thirst from all the dust he’d inhaled.
A short while later, the lamp went out as the last of the oil leaked out. Then it was pitch black, and Heyes began to panic. He had never liked being shut in anywhere, and to be trapped, as he was, in total blackness, with no certain hope of rescue, was terrifying. He had never been a religious person, but he began to pray, silently at first, then, as time passed and he became delirious from pain and dehydration, out loud.
* * *
​
As the mine shaft split into three separate tunnels a quarter of a mile inside, and the rescue party went down a different one first, it was more than four hours after the cave-in before they finally arrived at the site.
Initially, they didn’t spot Heyes, as he was lying close to what had been the side of the shaft.
“Looks like this is the end of the line.” said Chuck, lifting his lamp to see the extent of the cave-in. The rubble rose in a slope right up to what had been the roof of the tunnel. “There’s no way through.”
“But what if…” the Kid began to protest about anyone who might be alive on the other side, but Chuck knew what he was going to say and spoke over him.
“By the time we got this stabilized and cut a way through, anyone on the other side would have suffocated. There’s no place for any air to get through.”
“You don’t know that.” The Kid cut in.
“Yes, I do.” said Chuck, “I know every inch of this mine. This tunnel is a dead end. The only air is what comes down from the surface, and as you can see,” he moved the lamp around to shine on the roof, “it’s been completely sealed by the fall. In any case, we don’t know how far back…” he broke off as he brought the lamp down and the beam touched on a man’s forearm protruding from the rubble.
The Kid drew in a shocked gasp following Chuck across to examine it, dreading that it might be Heyes, yet at the same time realizing that if it wasn’t, then he was certainly one of those buried on the other side of, or even beneath, the mountain of rubble. He shuddered at the thought.
As Chuck crouched down by the protruding arm, the lamp light lit up Heyes’ motionless form a few yards to his left.
“Look!” Chuck pointed, getting up and crossing to him, the Kid on his heels.
“Oh, my God.” gasped the Kid, “It’s Joshua.” He pushed past Chuck and crouched down by him.
“Joshua?” he called, shaking him, “Joshua?”
Heyes, who had drifted into semi-consciousness, stirred slightly at his touch.
“Thank God, he’s alive.” The Kid heaved a sigh of relief, “Joshua.” he called again, “it’s me, Thaddeus, can you hear me?”
Heyes groaned and licked his lips.
Chuck surveyed the pile of rubble that buried him. “He might be alive,” he said, “but getting him out aint gonna be easy.”
The Kid looked up at the rubble.
“The way this lot’s lying, as soon as we try to dig him out, the whole lot’s gonna roll down and smother him… And us too.” he added.
As their voices seeped into his brain, Heyes reached a hand up in their direction.
“H-help me…” he croaked, screwing his face up in pain, “Please…”
“Sssh.” The Kid soothed, taking hold of his hand. He turned to look at Chuck, “So, how do we get him out?” he asked anxiously.
“We’ll have to go back and get something to shore this lot up while we dig.” said Chuck.
“Well I’m not coming back.” said one of the miners, “If you disturb this lot, the whole shaft could collapse."​
“Is that true?” asked the Kid.
“There is a risk.” nodded Chuck.
The other two miners also refused to have any part in trying to rescue Heyes.
“Looks like it’s just you and me then.” Chuck looked at the Kid.
The Kid nodded. “Yeah.”
“You stay with him.” Chuck told him, “I’ll go back and get what we need.” He turned to the other men, “If you guys can just help me bring the stuff down, we’ll do the job together.”
The other men reluctantly agreed.
“I’ll be back as quickly as I can.” Chuck told the Kid.
The Kid nodded, his eyes holding Chuck’s momentarily. “Thanks.” he said quietly.
If it was true that there was a risk they could be killed trying to rescue Heyes, it was a generous act on his part to volunteer to come back.
The men left then, leaving the Kid behind with a lamp, to keep Heyes company.
He took off his jacket and covered Heyes with it to try and warm him. Then he took off his vest and, folding it up into a makeshift pillow, lifted Heyes’ head and placed it beneath him.
“Don’t worry.” He soothed, “We’ll soon have you out.”
But Heyes was too incoherent to respond. He lay there, shivering with cold, pleading for help and muttering unintelligible phrases, while the Kid did his best to comfort him.
It was almost an hour before Chuck and the other miners returned with everything they needed.
The other men then wished them good luck before heading hurriedly back up to the surface.
Chuck and the Kid began work on shoring up the area around and immediately above Heyes, and then, very carefully, began to dig away the earth, adding extra shoring as they went. When they got to within a few inches of Heyes’ flesh, they put aside their shovels and began to dig with their bare hands.
“Let’s try that.” Chuck said presently. Getting to his feet and positioning himself behind Heyes’ head, he bent and lifted him up, putting his arms under his shoulders and beginning to pull. The Kid cleared away the remainder of the rubble with his hands, as Chuck finally pulled him clear. Both he and the Kid held their breath, waiting to see if the rubble would shift, but thankfully it stayed where it was.
Chuck dragged Heyes, who was moaning with pain, several yards away, and then knelt to examine him, keeping one ear open for any sound that might indicate a further cave-in.
“It looks pretty bad.” Chuck told him, “We’d better get him to the doctor fast.”
They lifted him onto the stretcher that Chuck had brought back down with him, and then they hurried back towards the entrance, Heyes howling with pain all the way.
Once outside in the daylight, the Kid could see that Heyes was in a bad way. His legs were obviously badly damaged and the Kid was horrified to see a piece of bone in his right leg protruding through the flesh, from which he’d lost a fair amount of blood.
Beneath the dirt, his face was ashen, and his pulse was weak and erratic. He was delirious from pain, cold and dehydration, rambling incoherently and pleading for someone to help him, and it brought a lump to the Kid’s throat to see him in such distress.
They loaded the stretcher onto a wagon to be taken into town. The Kid sprinted over and climbed up on it as the driver spurred the horses.
It was five o’clock when they pulled up outside the doctor’s surgery, almost seven hours after the cave-in.
Across the street, Lom was just leaving his office, having finished work for the day.
When he spotted the Kid arriving on the wagon, he crossed the street with a puzzled frown on his face, wondering why he should be in town at this time of day.
“Thaddeus?” he called.
The Kid turned in the direction of the voice.
“Lom.” He jumped down off the wagon, his expression distraught.
“What brings you…” Lom broke off as the doctor hurried out and he and the driver lifted the stretcher from the back of the wagon and hurried back inside.
“Wha…” Lom began, recognizing Heyes.
“He was at the mine.” the Kid spoke over him, “He was caught in the cave-in.”
“Oh, no.” gasped Lom. News of the cave-in had reached him but he’d forgotten that Heyes had planned to go there that day. He followed on the Kid’s heels as he dashed inside after him.
The doctor had been treating the injured as they had been ferried down from the mine, and looked harassed and tired.
Lom and the Kid hovered in the outer office as the doctor and the wagon driver carried the stretcher into the back room.
It was some time before the doctor emerged. Lom and the Kid crossed hurriedly from the window to join him.
“How is he, Doc?” Lom asked.
The doctor raised his eyebrows in a shrug. “He has sustained serious damage to both legs.” he told them, “He has crush injuries to bones in both feet as well muscle and tendon damage. His left leg sustained a fracture just above the ankle and his right leg is broken in two places, just above the ankle and he has a nasty compound fracture midway between the knee and the ankle, which severed a vein and he’s lost a considerable amount of blood. It’s a mess, and to be honest, I’m not optimistic about repairing it. I think amputation would be the best thing.”
“No.” the Kid cut in.
“If the leg can be repaired, and if gangrene doesn’t set in, it could be months, years even, before it healed enough for him to walk on it, if at all.” The doctor explained, “It would be better to amputate.”
“No.” the Kid shook his head firmly, “He’d rather be dead than be a cripple.”
Lom nodded. “I have to agree, Doc. Look how hard he fought to recover from that brain operation. He couldn’t live with that.”
The doctor sighed. “Well, since he’s in no fit state to answer for himself at the moment, I’ll do what I can to save it. But I can’t guarantee he won’t lose it later.”
“Do your best, Doc.” said Lom.
“He also has a nasty gash on the back of his head, a badly bruised shoulder and is suffering from concussion and dehydration. Surgery is risky in his present state, but I need to operate as soon as possible.”
Lom nodded. “Go ahead, Doc.” He knew the doctor wouldn’t take risks unless it was absolutely necessary.
The doctor nodded and began his preparations for surgery.
“May we see him before you operate?” Lom asked.
“Yes.” replied the doctor. It was possible that his patient wouldn’t survive the surgery and he knew they would want to see him beforehand, just in case.
Lom and the Kid went into the other room and crossed to the table where Heyes lay.
The Kid took hold of Heyes’ hand in his two and bent close to his ear.
“Heyes, it’s me, Kid. Can you hear me?” he said quietly so that the doctor wouldn’t hear.
“Just hang in there. The Doc’s gonna fix you up.”
Heyes didn’t respond, as he rolled his head from side to side, moaning with pain.
Lom put a hand on Heyes’ shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’re going to be fine.” he said gruffly.
The doctor came into the room and Lom put a hand on the Kid’s arm. “Come on, let the Doc get on.” he told him.
They adjourned to the other room, anxiously pacing up and down as they waited for news.
It was dark when the doctor finally emerged.
“I’ve done the best I can.” he told them, “He’s going to be off his feet for several weeks, and, if the bones heal, it’ll be several months before he’ll be able to walk, if at all. Assuming,” he added solemnly, “he survives. As you know, his system has been much weakened by his earlier illness, and may not be able to cope with this trauma. He could go into shock, or fall pray to pneumonia or a dozen other infections, any one of which could kill him.”
“Can we see him?” the Kid asked anxiously.
The doctor nodded, stepping away from the door.
They entered the room and crossed to Heyes’ bedside.
The doctor had propped him up at an angle, hoping to reduce the risk of a build up of fluid in his lungs, which was a common problem in patients spending any length of time immobilized. The doctor had gotten him into a nightshirt, and a single sheet covered him. His legs were heavily splinted and bandaged from foot to thigh, and as they looked at him, he barely seemed to be breathing, his face ghostly white.
“It’s so unfair.” the Kid said suddenly, “Hasn’t he been through enough?”
Lom said nothing.
The Kid pulled up a chair and sat down. “I’m going to stay with him…” he told Lom.
“What about the farm?” asked Lom.
“I’ll nip back in the morning to sort things out with Joey.”
“Right. Well, I’ll go home and get some sleep, and then I’ll come and stay with him tomorrow while you go to the farm.” said Lom.
The Kid nodded. “O.K.”
“Send for me… you know… if you need me…” said Lom.
The Kid turned to look at him. They both knew that it was possible that Heyes might die, but neither of them was prepared to say the words.
The Kid nodded finally, and Lom left.
After a couple of hours, Heyes began to stir, groaning and licking his lips.
The Kid leaned forward and took his hand.
“Heyes.” He called softly, “Can you hear me?”
Heyes groaned again, a frown creasing his brow. Presently he opened his eyes and gazed vacantly around the room, before lapsing into unconsciousness once more, to stir again several minutes later with a moan of pain.
“Heyes?” the Kid called softly.
Heyes opened his eyes, his gaze once more roaming unseeingly around the room, his face creased up in pain.
“Heyes?” the Kid called again, as Heyes closed his eyes again and swallowed, before opening his eyes once again and blinking several times, obviously trying to fight off the fog of anaesthesia.
“Can you hear me?” asked the Kid, squeezing his hand.
Heyes opened his eyes once more, shifting them in the direction of the voice.
“Hi.” The Kid smiled, but Heyes still looked confused and didn’t show any recognition.
“L-legs…” he croaked.
“Yeah, you hurt them, but you’re gonna be O.K. Just lie still and rest.”
“H-hurts…” Heyes muttered, drifting off again.
He slept fitfully for another hour, by which time, the effects of the anaesthetic had worn off sufficiently that he could no longer sleep through the pain in his legs and he woke with a groan..
“Heyes?” The Kid, who had been dozing in the chair, leaned forward and looked down at him.
“Legs…” Heyes croaked, "hurt…”
“You hurt your legs, but you’re gonna be fine.” the Kid told him again, before getting up and going to fetch the doctor who had gone for a nap in the other room.
“Joshua?” the doctor smiled down at him, “Nice to have you back with us. Your legs got badly broken, but, all being well, we can put you back together again. But it’s going to take a while, and it’s going to be tough. Think you can handle it?”
“H-hurts... so… bad.” muttered Heyes, his face contorted with pain.
“I know. But you must keep as still as possible in order for the bones to heal right.” The doctor told him, but Heyes was in too much pain to comprehend his words.
“Try and rest.” the doctor told him.
Heyes was in too much pain to sleep however, and eventually, the doctor decided that he would have to put him back to sleep for a while. “I’m not keen to do it in his present condition, with the concussion, and after all the dust he’s inhaled.” he told the Kid, “I’d prefer him to be conscious, but he needs to get some rest.”
The Kid spent the night in the chair at Heyes’ bedside, his arms folded across the top of the bed, his head resting on them, while the doctor monitored his condition hourly through the night.
When Lom arrived the next morning, Heyes was still asleep.
“How is he?” he asked the Kid
The Kid grimaced. “He was in a bad way last night. The Doc had to put him out again.”
Lom nodded.
“Listen,” the Kid continued presently, “I need to go over to the farm to sort out what needs to be done over the next few days and go through it with Joey, so that I can spend some time here. Will you stay with him while I’m gone?”
“Sure.” replied Lom.
“He may not wake up, and if he does, he may be too out of it to know you’re here, but I don’t think he should be alone.”
Lom nodded agreement.
The Kid left then, promising to be back by lunch time.
Lom went to chat to the doctor while he ate his breakfast, and then they both went into the other room so that the doctor could examine Heyes.
He checked his pulse and respiration and listened to his chest.
Heyes began to stir as he examined him.
“Hello.” said the doctor as Heyes opened his eyes and looked bewilderedly around him.
“How are you feeling today?”
“W-where… am… I?” croaked Heyes, breaking into a fit of coughing.
“You’re in my surgery, in Porterville. You’ve been here since yesterday.” the doctor told him.
“My… legs…”
“Were badly broken.” said the doctor, “But with luck, they’re going to be fine.”
“Hurt… so… bad…” muttered Heyes.
“I know. But it means they’re still there.” smiled the doctor, “Do you remember anything about what happened?”
Heyes frowned as he tried to recall.
“Dark... and dust… and… pain...” he muttered, “W-what happened?”
“You were at the mine with one of the men, and there was a cave-in.” the doctor told him, “You were buried under the rubble.”
Heyes closed his eyes and nodded, as the memory came back to him.
Suddenly he had a flash of the lifeless arm sticking out from beneath the debris, and opened his eyes, looking fearful.
“Bill…” he croaked, “What happened to Bill?”
“Bill who?” asked the doctor.
“Bill Jenkins... Is he… alive?” Heyes asked anxiously.
“I don’t know. I haven’t treated anyone of that name.” the doctor told him.
“I was with him.” said Heyes, “I saw… a man’s arm… sticking out… from under the rubble. Was it Bill?” he looked anxiously at the doctor.
“I don’t know, but I’ll try and find out for you.” the doctor volunteered, trying to sooth Heyes’ rising panic, “Now, just relax.”
“How about trying a little breakfast?” the doctor suggested, but Heyes shook his head.
“Perhaps later.” said the doctor. Heyes didn’t reply.
They left him to rest then, but his sleep was disturbed by the pain in his legs and flashbacks of the cave-in that made him more and more distraught as the morning wore on.
The Kid arrived back in Porterville just after noon. As he was dismounting he saw Bill Jenkins coming towards him.
“Thaddeus!” he called.
“Hi, Bill.” the Kid replied as he tethered his horse, “How are you?”
“Oh, I’m O.K.” shrugged Bill. Two gashes stood out on his cheek, around which a black bruise was forming, and he looked drawn, “I was just on my way to visit Joshua. I feel so bad about what’s happened. If I hadn’t asked him to come to the mine, he wouldn’t have been caught up in the cave-in.” He shook his head worriedly, “Chuck said he was hurt pretty bad. How is he?”
The Kid sighed. “His legs were badly crushed.” he told him, “The Doc wanted to amputate one, but we persuaded him to try and save it.”
“Oh, God.” gasped Bill. He felt awful that Joshua should have been so badly hurt on his one and only visit to the mine when he, who worked there every day, had escaped with just a few scratches.
“Can I see him?” he asked
The Kid nodded and led the way inside.
The doctor was seated at his desk in the front office, and looked up as they entered.
“Hi, Doc.” said the Kid. As the doctor looked questioningly at Bill the Kid said, “This is Bill Jenkins. He was with Joshua at the mine.”
“Ah, yes.” said the doctor. “Joshua has been asking about you. He was afraid you’d been killed. He’ll be pleased to know you’re alive.”
“How is he?” the Kid asked now.
“Still a bit disorientated, and in a lot of pain.” replied the doctor, getting to his feet.
“Mr. Jenkins, do you want to come through?” he enquired.
Bill Jenkins nodded and glanced across at the Kid, who waved him on. There wasn’t enough room for Bill, the doctor, Lom and himself, so he elected to wait outside while Bill went in to see him.
Bill and the doctor went through to the back room.
The doctor crossed to the bed and touched Heyes’ shoulder. “Joshua, Bill’s here to see you.”
Slowly, Heyes turned to look at him with pain filled yes.
“Bill.” he croaked, “I… thought… you were dead.” His voice sounded strained as he fought the desire to scream at them to do something to stop the pain.
“I’m fine.” smiled Bill, “I’m sorry you got caught up in it.”
“Me… too.” croaked Heyes.
“The Doc’ll soon have you fixed up.” Bill told him, “You just take it easy, and do like he tells you, and I’ll come and see you again soon. O.K?”
Heyes gave a vague nod, too consumed by pain to sustain any further conversation, and Bill took his leave, after which the doctor administered a sedative medicine to enable him to get some sleep.
Now that the Kid had left instructions with Joey, on what needed to be done at the farm, he felt easier about staying at the doctor’s office with Heyes. He had no idea whether, when Heyes was more coherent and realized he was there, he would even want him around, but the realization of how close he’d come to dying in the cave-in had given the Kid new resolve to try and re-build their friendship.
Heyes slept all afternoon, but at around five o’clock he began to stir, shifting restlessly, a frown creasing his brow. The Kid wondered if it was from the pain or if he was having a bad dream.
Heyes turned his head and gave a soft moan before opening his eyes, to look right into the Kid’s face. For a moment he showed no recognition, still only half awake. Then, a spark of recognition lit in his eyes but, as though believing himself to be dreaming, he blinked several times before looking at the Kid once more, his eyes widening as he realized that he wasn’t dreaming and that the Kid really was sitting there. He tried to speak, but no sound came out.
“Ssh. Don’t try to talk now.” The Kid told him, “There’ll be plenty of time for that later. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Heyes moaned again, screwing up his face in pain.
“Rest.” said the Kid.
Heyes drifted off once more and the Kid went to tell the doctor that he had woken up briefly. He came in to examine him, listening to his chest.
“Any sign of pneumonia?” the Kid asked anxiously.
“Amazingly, no.” said the doctor, “Not that he’s out of the woods yet, but, if he was going to come down with it I would have expected some signs by now.”
Heyes woke again just over an hour later, to see the Kid sitting by the bed. He stared at him for several moments as he tried to collect his thoughts.
“W-were… you… here… before?” he whispered finally.
The Kid nodded. “Yes.”
“I- I… thought… I’d… dreamt it…”
“No. I’ve been here since last night.” smiled the Kid. Then, his expression becoming solemn, “And I’ll stay for as long as you want me to.” he told him, as a hint for Heyes to reveal his feelings about the future, if any, of their relationship.
He waited for several moments for Heyes to reply. When he didn’t, the Kid’s pent-up emotions finally got the better of him.
“I would never have abandoned you, Heyes.” He blurted out suddenly, “I know you think I would because I didn’t deny it when you asked me, but…” he sighed, bowing his head and nervously twiddling his fingers as he searched for a way to explain himself, “I know it’s no excuse, but… I was so… grief stricken… over Laura, and the baby… nothing seemed worth a damn.” He shook his head, “I didn’t care about anything. I didn’t care if I lived, or died… and I couldn’t allow myself to care about anyone else… not even you… I did care, but, I couldn’t handle the thought of losing you too, or of you being left an invalid because of me. I had to cut myself off from it. It was too much for me to deal with, after Laura.” He risked a brief glance at Heyes who was listening silently, his dark eyes looking huge in his pain filled face, their expression unreadable.
“I know I hurt you,” the Kid continued, “and I wanted to explain… but I didn’t know how.” He gave a tremulous sigh, “But I was hurt too…” he continued, “that you really believed I could do something like that.” He looked at Heyes now, his eyes bright with emotion, “After all we’ve been through together, you should have known better than to believe… that if you needed me, I wouldn’t be there. I’m here now aren’t I?” he glanced over at Heyes, “I’d lay down my life for you.” He shook his head, lowering his gaze, “God knows, if I could have traded places with you when you were sick, I would have.” he said gruffly, “I blamed myself for you getting hurt, because you wouldn’t even have been at Lom’s but for helping me. It tore me apart to think I’d ruined your life. That’s why I didn’t visit you at the Institute. I was afraid you’d hate me… and I couldn’t bear to see you like that… knowing it was my fault you were hurt… After everything else that had happened… I just couldn’t handle it…” He trailed off, shaking his head in self disgust.
He jumped when he felt Heyes’ hand on his arm. Lifting his eyes, he saw a single tear slide from the corner of Heyes’ eye to trickle down his temple onto the pillow.
“What happened… to me… wasn’t your fault… and… I’m sorry… I doubted you…” he whispered, “Can you… forgive me?”
The Kid nodded. “Do you forgive me?” he croaked.
Heyes nodded weakly. “I forgive you.”
The Kid nodded, too overcome to speak, lifting a hand to cover his face as tears of relief and remorse welled up in him.
“You were entitled to be angry.” he said, when he’d composed himself enough to speak, “I behaved abominably.” He shook his head, “I don’t know what I was thinking of, moving out to the farm and breaking off contact with you and Lom when you were trying to get things back to normal. It was stupid, and I’m sorry.”
“I behaved badly too.” whispered Heyes, “I was… selfish... and thoughtless. I should have… realized… you weren’t… thinking straight… after what happened to Laura...”
They both fell silent for several minutes as each contemplated what the other had said.
Presently, the Kid turned to look at Heyes.
“You’ve got to get well, Heyes.” he croaked, “I’ve lost Laura, and the baby… I don’t want to lose you too.”
Heyes managed a weak smile. Their emotional exchange had drained him, and he was incredibly tired but, for the first time in a long time, he felt as though his health, and his life, was worth fighting for.
“You won’t…” he whispered, and despite the pain and exhaustion in his face, the Kid could see the spark of determination that lit in his eyes.
“You rest now.” he told him.
“You won’t leave?” Heyes looked anxious.
The Kid shook his head. “I’ll be right here, all night. "
Heyes looked satisfied as he gave into sleep once more.
The Kid stayed by his side all night, comforting him each time he woke, in pain, talking to him to distract him from it, and helping him to drink some water. In the early hours he seemed to settle and when he woke the next morning he seemed more coherent and, while still in pain, it didn’t seem quite as bad as when he’d first arrived at the doctors. But then, the doctor had given him so much pain medication that had probably taken the edge of a bit.
The doctor insisted that the Kid go home and rest, after spending two virtually sleepless nights at Heyes’ bedside.
“I’m O.K.” said the Kid dismissively, “I can have a nap in the other room.”
“No.” The doctor was firm, “You’re exhausted. Now, go home and get some sleep. I don’t want to see you back here for the rest of the day.”
“But…” the Kid began to protest.
“No buts.” the doctor spoke over him, “If you don’t go home, I’ll ban you from visiting altogether.”
“Will you be alright?” the Kid asked Heyes.
“Of course he’ll be alright.” said the doctor, “Who’s the doctor here?”
Heyes nodded, smiling weakly at the Kid. “Go home.” he said quietly.
The Kid reluctantly agreed.
As he left the surgery, he went across to Lom’s office to see if he’d arrived for work yet, and to give him an update on Heyes’ condition..
“Oh, Hi.” Lom looked up as the Kid walked in, “I was just on my way over. How’s Heyes?”
“A little better.” said the Kid, “He’s awake and lucid, and he doesn’t seem to be in quite as much pain.”
“That’s good.” said Lom.
“We had a talk when he woke up.” the Kid continued, “We sorted things out between us.”
“I’m glad.” said Lom.
“The Doc kicked me out.” the Kid told him, “I’ve been banished for the rest of the day. He told me I should go home and rest.”
“A good diagnosis.” said Lom, “You look bushed.”
“I am a bit tired.” The Kid conceded. In truth, he was dead beat, but he wouldn’t admit it.
“I’ll go over and see him in a little while.” said Lom.
“O.K. I’ll probably see you this evening.” replied the Kid.
“Tomorrow morning.” Lom corrected him firmly.
The Kid grinned sheepishly and shrugged before bidding him farewell.
* * *
​
​
​
​
​
